Pendulum swings both ways
by KonohasBlackReaper
Summary: Bleach drabbles. . . . Usually found pairings HitsuKarin , IchiHime , IshiNemu , uraYoru , Masasshin
1. Guy Talk

**Just a random thought and I don't even have enough time to make it a one shot. So, a drabble it is. . . . .**

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"I like it. I really do. I mean I wear it every day, don't I?" the blonde man whined. "But she wont even let me take it off when we. . . you know."

"So, you wear it when you guys. . . get it on?" the black haired man asked seriously in a rare moment of absent melodramatics, looking at his companion on the rooftop.

"Yes." the blonde man sighed.

"Just. . . the hat?"

"Yes." the blonde sighed again.

"This one on your head. The green and white striped hat?"

"Yes." a deeper sigh.

The black haired man turned his eyes to the sky. "I'd pay to see that."

"Your turn." the blond glanced to the black haired man his side, before turning his eyes back to the stars.

"Well, she likes to seduce me by wearing my Doctor's coat." the dark haired man shared.

"Well, that doesn't sound bad. Actually, sounds kind of innocent."

_"Only_ my Doctor's coat." the man continued.

"Okay, not completely innocent but that still doesn't sound so -"

"When there are patients in the room and she is standing behind them." the dark haired man finished.

"..."

"..."

"Okay, I concede the point."

Both the dark haired man and the blonde turned their necks to the left and waited.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

A silvery eyebrow rose. "You do not seriously expect me to share intimate details of my wife and I with two shinigami, do you?"

"Awww~, we shared our stories, didn't we?" the blonde man flicked open a fan, hiding his face.

"Besides, if you didn't want to be here, you wouldn't be." the dark haired man smiled knowingly.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"She likes to wear maid uniforms." came a defeated sigh.

"But wasn't she a maid before?" blonde brows furrowed.

"Yeah, she used to wear those uniforms everyday, right." the man's fingers brushed his dark hair back.

"Not like _these_ maid uniforms, she didn't."

"..."

"..."

"Definitely not like _these_."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Wow. Who knew Katagiri-chan had it in her."

"Its always the quiet ones."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Say, Shinigami. Your glasses wearing assistant is a pretty quiet man, right?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"I'm not drunk enough for that conversation, Quincy-san."

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**Somewhere** **between Isshin's entry into the real world and before Ichigo was born. Because, friends sometimes need a night out.**

**I wonder if I am subconsciously converting my desire to meet my friends onto the screen. God, I miss those idiots. Life can be cruel in the smallest of ways sometimes. I guess I'll call them tomorrow.**

**Ja ne. . . **


	2. Mommy

**Don't have much time to write these days but this drabble came to me during a gap between two classes.**

**It's not much, but enjoy!**

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**A Father**

Orihime had no idea how she ended up talking to her powers about her Biology class. No matter how it had started, the fairy spirits were quite curious and now she was left blushing fiercely as the little fairies discussed human reproduction.

"So the babies are born inside of mommies?" Lily asked, a small finger on her chin.

"Y-Yes, Lily-chan." Orihime stuttered.

"Because a little part of the daddy joins a little part of the mommy inside her?" Ayame ventured, her little eyes wide and big.

"Y-yes, Ayame chan." Orihime nodded and was glad that they did not ask for more details on exactly how the Daddy and Mommy achieved that little detail.

"And from that part the babies are born?" Baigon was quite agog.

"Yes, Baigon-kun." She nodded as the fairies looked at each other, something going through their minds. Orihime noticed as Lily and Ayame nodded at each other squealed and hugged. "Ehhh? A-Ano Lily-chan, Ayame-chan? What happened?"

"Mommy!" all her faires except for Tsubaki flew to her face and hugged her cheek warmly.

"Wha – what? M-M-Mommy? M-m-me?" Orihime's eyes widened.

"Yes, Mommy." Lily nodded. "You're our mommy."

"We were born inside you. So you're our mommy." Ayame squealed happily.

"You realize what this means, don't you?" Baigon said excitedly to his 'siblings'. "Who our daddy is?"

"Uwaahh!" Lily danced. "Our daddy is so strong."

"H-huh?" Orihime was alternating between being confused and embarrassed. "Your d-daddy?"

"Of course." Lily nodded. "We awoke as your powers when Daddy's power acted as a catalyst to your latent abilities mommy."

"Your d-daddy's power?" Orihime repeated and then her eyes widened to the size of saucers and a heavy blush rushed up her face. "Y-y-you m-m-m-mean K-K-Ku-Kurosaki-kun?" she sounded like she suffered from a bad case of Tourette's.

The fairies nodded emphatically.

"Ku-kurosaki-kun is your daddy?" Orihime stuttered.

"Hai mommy." Ayame nodded.

"Kurosaki-kun. . . . daddy. Me . . . Mommy?" she whispered and something went off in her brain.

\- _Inside Orihime's mind - _ ALERT! ALERT! REBOOT REQUIRED! ALL SYSTEMS CRASHING! ABANDON SHIP!

Steam erupted from Orihime's ears and her face turned as red as Renji's hair. She fainted.

"M-MOMMY!"


End file.
